Sometimes we have to endure a struggle in order to move forward. Last week, was my struggle. I did not have a “good” attitude with anything ranging from work, home, and church. Things did not fall into place for me at all, but I continued to move on. I wouldn’t say that I continued to move forward, just move. Moving in a direction that made me relish on what I was doing with my life and understanding my past. My revelation on my past came this Saturday when I went back home to Huntsville. When I need peace and I have to get away, I go home. The saying, “there is no place like home” is a reality to me. I had to get back to basics and find out what was wrong. Of course I had my kids with me and we ate a home cooked meal. Just like home, this is one thing that I truly miss every day. While the kids played with their Grandma, I sat in the rocking chair and fell asleep. So that was one problem that I had, I was officially exhausted. I haven’t been sleeping soundly at home due to having a lot of things on my mind, trying to please others. After I woke up from my 2 hours impromptu nap, I hung around for a while and then headed out to the cemetery. I try to make it a point to have my talk with Grandpa who is not longer with me. It seems like to me that he is the only one that has understood and feels what I am going through. He was and is the only true make role model that I look up to in my life. But he was no longer here, and it’s just me. After we talked I felt relief, however, my daughters we crying too because they missed him as well. I hugged on them and told them that it would be ok and it’s fine to have emotions like that. I reminded them that I would take care of them just as Grandpa took care of me. Then, it hit me. I have to grow up and be a complete man.
What does this mean to be a complete man? I teach boys everyday that being man takes responsibility, desire, and continual prayer. I have been stuck as a boy for the last 32 years of my life and I needed to step up and be a complete man. Being a man means taking care of your children, handling your business and many other things. But being a complete man means that it’s time to fill the shoes of those men that I have gone away to be with God. I can’t blame the world for Grandpa not being around and not having any male role models to talk to, I have to move on. My kids need me and God needs me to make moves that are pleasing to him. I am reminded in the word that when I was child, I spoke as a child and I have done childish things. (1 Chronicles 13:11) Now I am a man, need to be a more complete man, a Godly man. Last week, I was a child that was acting as a man, but now I am striving to become a complete man today.
The time is now to identify what kind of man are you? Are you just a man or are you a complete man? Are you a boy that wants to be just a man or a complete man?
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